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Lame Joke of the Week
Ron, an elderly man in Florida, owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back.
It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some orange and
lime trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
Ron frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up Ron said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
Some old men can still think fast.
- courtesy of Jimmee Jayson
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Saabstory
A lame joke: Geez, the economy is terrible. How terrible is it? It's so terrible that congress just voted to replace the Lincoln Memorial with a Ford Festiva.
thdrbat
An Englishman took a business trip to New York. When he arrived, the hotel clerk asked him a riddle. "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?" The Englishman thought long and hard, but eventually gave up. "I don't know who was it?" The hotel clerk responded, "It was me!" The Englishman thought that was hilarious. He couldn't wait to get home and tell this funny joke to his family and friends in England. When he arrived home they met him at the airport and he asked them: "My mom and dad had a baby. It wasn't my brother. It wasn't my sister. Who was it?" His friends thought and thought about it until they gave up. So he told them, "It was a hotel clerk I met in New York."
Blueguitar
Help! There was a series of jokes on Car Talk about 10 years ago that cracked me up, but I forgot them! Each one built on the previous one and they got funnier as they went. All I remember is there was a crocodile.
SteveBrown
After the Naval Nuclear Research Lab failed to find the Higgs boson, the task was handed off to the Bureau of Naval Personnel, which conducted an exhaustive search. Three weeks later, they notified the Secretary of the Navy that they found Boatswain's Mate George Higgs serving on board the USS Massachusetts, the navy's heaviest ship.
ejh
Why is a story about sausage skins worrisome? Becasue it the wurst case scenario.