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Just clobber the wheels!

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Dear Tom and Ray:


My girlfriend has a '79 Mercury Cougar. The rear rims have seized to the hubs. The car was even driven with the lug nuts loose, but the wheels still wouldn't come off. The local Mercury dealer refuses to work on it. I've tried WD-40 and a 16 pound sledge hammer. My air compressor is worn out trying to keep air in the tires. What else can I do?
Don

RAY: I think your first problem is that you're afraid to damage the wheels, Don. Just accept that these wheels are going to be garbage by the time you get them off, and that you're going to have to buy new ones. That'll free you up to really clobber these wheels--because that's what it's going to take to get them off.

TOM: But before you do that, you should apply intense heat. Take an oxy-acetylene torch and heat the wheels around the wheel nuts until they're really red hot. Then whack the daylights out of them with you're sledge hammer. I've never seen a seized wheel stand up to that kind of punishment.

RAY: But if it doesn't work, I'd rent a booth at the next county fair. Bring your sledge hammer with you, and put your car up on some blocks. Then charge a buck a swing, and offer a stuffed animal to the first guy who can knock the wheels off the car. I'm sure those three-hundred-pound guys are getting tired of ringing those sissy little bells, anyway. Good luck, Don.
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