Hall of Really Weird Mail

I write to you now to warn you of the dangers of a certain product that I have found is now on the market, namely inflatable underwear. If you laugh, you laugh in ignorance. This is no laughing matter.

"What is inflatable underwear," you ask? It is simply that, underwear that inflates. While it seems a harmless enough, this can be dangerous and I give you a real example below.

Some time ago, a Tokyo man was riding on the bus in the crowded fashion so Tokyo-ish. (To any Tokyans, please do not get offended.) He was wearing these offensive inflatable underpants to help deter his neurotic phobia of drowning. Suddenly, they went off due to what has been called a "complete accident." They started to inflate and got bigger. . .and bigger. . . and bigger until they were almost thirty times the original size! People on all sides of him were being crushed, and if not for the quick thinking of someone there who punctured them with a pencil, people could have died.

Jonathan



In regards to your mail section, I have a concern about your punctuation in the letter that was recently posted, entitled, "Of Christopher, Anal Retentiveness and Channeling."

Is not "Anal-(?) Retentive" hyphenated? Please look into this and get back to me as soon as possible.

Peter



I have a question for you. Do you have any fake airline tickets? I have seen the fake traffic tickets you have, and I was wondering if you had any fake airline tickets?

David

P.S. I would like to get specific directions from 8 Kent Street in Sanford, Maine, to 1467 State Route 32 in Round Pond, Maine.



What I'd like to know is, if an alien space craft gets too close to your automobile, does the electromagnetic energy that the craft emits disable the automobile? Yes or no? And, would it have the same effect on a diesel?

Herbert



You have 30 of your days to leave your planet or else. We will send a NO ABDUCTIONS of this human chip to if you will give us your location.

Look by the moon to see us.

By the way we want one of your cars to study. Get it to us. We are all one mind.

THE NATION OF STPONIOS.



Tom and Ray,

I am enlisting you as partners in my expedition to Mars to dig for gold.

We can begin in my garage to put together a vehicle with an auger and other such items needed to process, refine, and return to us at a site to be shared only with the three of us.

I am sure that our mutual interest will carry us through to a simple and swift fruition of this noble endeavor.

Anonymous



Fatty almost fall out of Miata high speed laughing you and Alaska gal drive up hills backward. Cupacoffeehuh?

But that's not the subject this thing. Bird poop is what start Fatty thinkin' here. Yes,

Now, Mr. Click Clack. We find answer to bird poop question. We give you anything you want. But bring Cyberbabies too. Fatty like very much. So let Fatty sum it up you guys. Fatty do. You do. Then we all do do.

Time name Electric Minds one of top 10 sites. Didn't see your site listed. Ha ha you!

Pax,

Cap'n Fatty



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