Every now and then, we seem to hit on a topic that inspires folks to go nuts with their wacko theories, bizzare stories and half-baked concepts. Well, we've done it again. The topic?

Birdie poop.

Yup, that avian gift from the heavens that always seems to arrive just after the hot wax has been applied. We got enough e-mails on the topic last week to fill a hard disk the size of Kansas. Thanks to our cyberlackeys, though, we've pared it down to only the finest, most hare-brained, off-the-wall missives. Like the smart-bomb theory, the guanoflage theory and the poop-upon-descent theory.

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