You forgot the most important feature: No-Wheel-Drive(tm). With the NWD option, you put your feet through the rusted-out floor board and propel the DUV yourself, a la Fred Flintstone.
Maybe you should call this the DUH, as in "Dart Utility Hearse,"
because I think it is a real deathtrap!
I guess the Aztec was an early market test of the concept?