Pontiac Aztek
The auto equivalent of Picasso on a bad day. — Christopher
So bad, they couldn't even spell its name correctly. — Kit
The Plaztek has to be the ugliest hunk of polystyrene ever molded. — Jeff
Let's face it, not every engineering student gets an "A". The "D" students need work also. — Bob
One of our neighbors has a green one which we call the "toadmobile," which, come to think of it, is an insult to toads. —Richard
The back end looks like it was stretched up too high, kind of like when an elderly person hikes their pants up to their chin. — Eric
That didn't just get hit with an ugly stick; it came charging out of the ugly forest! — Chris
It looks the way Montezuma's revenge feels. — John
Looks like it was designed by two separate teams of engineers that started at opposite bumpers and worked their way towards the middle, each unable to talk to the other until they met at the center doorpost. — Nate
Was Pontiac taken over by a high school shop class? — Sam
It has all the style, grace, and sexiness of an orthopedic shoe. — Byron
A horrid assembly of mismatched lines and angles, made even worse by the gray plastic body cladding of the "original edition." — Richard
Just screams "committee." — Thomas
Look like it has a wedgie. — Lisa
Ever seen this car from behind? It's like getting behind a horse that's ready to drop a load. — Susan
Looks like it went into the crusher before the showroom! The last step in the production process was being hit with an ugly stick. — Nate
It is amazing Pontiac hasn't been sued for accidents caused by drivers spewing coffee over the inside of their windshields when Azteks drive by. — Thomas
Toyota Scion xB
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. — Art
Is the black glass to protect the identity of the geek who's driving? — Tarek
Is it full of clowns when you buy it? — Tom
My kids call the Element and Scion "Lego cars". But at least you can take a Lego car apart and make something useful out of it. — Beverly
Did the cleaning lady take the plans for this out of the trash as a joke — and nobody noticed? — Susie
All the grace of a hippo on stilts. — Chris
Did they forget to take it out of its shipping crate? — Richard
A smaller, uglier distant cousin of the Honda Element; it's inherently unstable, underpowered and hideous to look at. — Steve
Looks like some sort of milk truck for a Shriner parade. — Will
Its appearance should serve as an innovative but effective first line of defense against car theft. — Sharon
When I was younger, my friends and I would make cars out of refrigerator boxes. Never in a million years could I have dreamed we were actually years ahead of our time. — Josh
Takes the cube to new levels of ugliness. — Jon
Honda Element
Looks like a Hummer, fresh out of a trash compactor. — Catherine
Nice box. Where's the car that came in it? — Sean
All that's missing to complete its Barney Rubble-mobile appearance is holes in the floorboard so you can hang your legs out. — Stangas
Every time we see a Honda Element, we wonder, "What element is it? Butt-uglium?" — Ed & Vicki
Looks like the owner thought, "I'd like to own a Hummer, but I work at Foot Locker." — John
This is what happens when you cross an armored car with a circus midget. — Norb
Looks like a Soviet-era ice cream truck. — Jason
If you put a trunk in the front, you could call it the Honda Elephant. — Tony
Where did they find the designer — in the UPS garage? — Mary Jo
A rollover would improve its looks! — Terry
Reminds me of a communist taxicab. — Don
A toaster on wheels! It is so ugly that it makes the Aztek look attractive. — Glenn
Hummer H2
Stands for "hideous, squared." — Amy
Proves yet again that money can't buy you looks. — Scott
Physically repulsive and morally bankrupt. — Kathryn
It is the automotive equivalent of Aunt Bertha. — Farrar
Designed from the despicable principle of "form follows marketing." — Ed
An affront to the world environment, with its gas-guzzling "I've got mine" attitude. — Don
Chrysler PT Cruiser
So, how many clowns can you fit in that thing? — George
Add running boards and it looks like the cars used in Eliot Ness versus Al Capone — except that the height requirement for G-men would have been, say, 4 foot 6. — Eric
It's disheartening when I see one with flames that are only PAINTED on. — Marc
Looks like it belongs in a cartoon. What does the "PT" stand for, Puddy Tat? — Dan
Appeals only to middle-aged women who like to paint flames on the sides. What is going on with that? — Josh
My boss drives one and he thinks he's "cool." He isn't. — Amy
Looks like something The Joker would be driving in a Batman movie." — Kim
Chrysler 300
Who knew so many pimps were wannabe bluehairs? — John
News Flash: Chrysler teams up with Norelco to produce first luxury car with floating heads! — Dave
Who knew so many bluehairs were wannabe pimps? — Jeanne
As the guy in the movie "Christine" said, "You can't polish a t-d." — David Thomas
Dodge Magnum
Daimler-Chrysler, I beg of you to put a lock on the liquor cabinet in the Engineer's break room. — John
Absolutely Freudian. Give the man a huge cigar! — John
So ugly, it looks like something Gomez Addams would drive if he wanted an upgrade--and Pugsley designed it, right? — Amy
Looks like a hearse. Are caskets an option? — Joanne
I'm so glad to see Daimler-Chrysler doesn't have minimum vision requirements for its engineers. — Katrina
The Welsh Corgi of the car world — it wishes to be the big dog, but it's cut too short to the ground. — Carrie
Chevy Avalanche
Chevrolet teams up with Tupperware to design their latest truck! — Matt
Notice how angry its headlights look? Did it see itself in the mirror on the way out of the factory? — Eric
Lovingly adorned with more plastic than Anna Nicole Smith. — Marcia
Subaru Baja
The first focus group they showed it to must have commented "baja-ha-ha-ha" while rolling on the floor! — Lisa
Who designed this? The Beach Boys and The Beverly Hillbillies? — Jack
Should be a warning for all scientists working on genetic engineering. This is the kind of thing that can result, if you're not careful. — Tim
Clearly, some Subaru designer saw a Legacy slam into an F-150 — then scurried to work to tell everyone his great idea. — Al
BMW 5 Series
Did they steal this design from Volkswagen? I know they're trying to add curves to the classic lines, but they've gone too Far-fegnugen. — Brian
It looks like a Pontiac on acid. — Morgan
