Citroen 2CV

No list can be complete without the addition of this French monstrosity..The only car ever mistaken for a port-a-potty if left at an outdoor sporting event.

Skip Kempnich

Dodge Lancer

After three new thermostats, I was still scraping frost off my windshield with a credit card while driving. The exhaust flew off and killed a dog. Its FRAME BROKE while turning into four lanes of busy traffic, severing the transmission.

My chickens live in it now, and even they look strangely worried.

Mary James

Ford Ranger

The Ford Ranger was the first new car my husband and I ever bought. It came with a special "safety feature." The doors opened from the inside even when locked by just pulling on the door handle. Made for great fun when an adventurous 3-year-old is in the car.

Susan Jeffries

Fiat

A 1974 FIAT (Italian for Roadkill) sedan is SO FAR on top of the list that only Saturday Night Live's ADOBE, made of mud, even comes close to it. Ignoring everyone's warnings about taking a car for which there were only two known dealers in the Western Hemisphere, we set off on a road trip to Alaska. We made the trip, and on the way there, set a Land Repair Record of 13 major malfunctions. The most exciting Fiat fiasco? The day the entire front left driveshaft (including wheel and tire) fell out of the car!

Dave Luther, MD

Audi Fox

This car, which my husband named "Hitler's Revenge," lasted 135,000 miles Ñ 45,000 on each of its 3 engines. It's my only car where I had to replace all 4 WHEELS, not just tires. I needed to be towed so often, AAA paid me to drop my membership.

Polly Mathys

Triumph Harold

The design with top heavy, narrow track, and SWING AXLES allowed the car to not so much to roll (when it cornered at too high a speed) as sort of LAZILY FALL OVER. We would have to let it lay there until enough motorists would stop and help right it. Then on our way we would go again courting our next disaster.

David Merrick

Fiat Spider

This car was very good for a teenager to sit on at McDonalds and try to impress women. The key was to make a future date and wait for everyone to leave before you call a tow truck!

Jeff Dixon

Ford Pinto

When it finally called it "quits" for the last time, the tow truck tried to haul it away and the frame broke in half. And it was only seven years old...

Harry Buckholtz

Chevy Nova

The one that I inherited turned Buddhist and self immolated. In Spanish, 'Nova' means 'It doesn't go." I wish I paid more attention in Spanish class.

Leo

Chevy Citation

One night we thought our prayers were answered when thieves stole the car, but they abandoned it two blocks away where they tried to steal another car.

Doug Kaplan

Isuzu Bellet

The Isuzu would routinely die halfway up a hill and, having no brakes in reverse, I would drift backwards to the bottom. If traffic was coming up the hill behind me, I would switch over to the downhill lane and arrive at the bottom leading a slow-moving parade of angry drivers who had caught up to me as I backed down. One of our last trips was across a long bridge with No Stopping signs, and a friend had to drive behind us and bump us along as the Isuzu sputtered in and out of consciousness.

Candace McPhedren

Vega

I wanted to tell you about the night I rolled over my '70 monkey vomit green Vega hatchback on the Bronx River Parkway in New York. I broke every window, crushed every piece of sheet metal except the rear panel, and flattened all four tires; but the four way emergency flashers still worked while the car was upside down!! See, there is a little good in everything.

Ron Kosednar

Pacer

I think it was the second year that the Pacer was being produced when my wife and I decided to take one for a test drive and put it through its paces, so to speak. With the salesman crammed in the back seat, we set out for one of the steepest hills in Harrisburg to test the car's acceleration. As the Pacer chugged up the hill, the salesman called out from the back seat, "This car has the same engine as a Jeep!" To which I replied, "When someone's test driving a Jeep, do you tell them it has the same engine as a Pacer?"

It was a long and silent drive back to the dealership.

Timothy Potts