Carstianity
by Dan Eggleston

Haul a Yugo. Haul a Yugo.

Gearly beloved, we are Blazered here in the
name of our Four-door, who art in Half-ton.
I'm speaking of our lord and
Mazda, Jeep-sus Chrysler.
He is the Alfa and the Romeo.
He was born in a Ranger,
he was Tempo'd by the DeVille,
and he Daihatsu'd for your Sentras.

He said, "Dodge not, that ye be not Dodged.

"Thou shalt not Corvette thy neighbor's
whitewall, but turn the other Cherokee.

"If ye have Fiat, ye can move Monte Carlos.

"He ain't Chevy, he's my Beretta."

He ate the Last Supra, and he climbed the
mount of Cavalier,
where they cruise-controlled him
on the Motocross.
But God, in his Infiniti Mercedes,
did Rolls away the Stanza.

Let us Prelude:
Saith the prophet Isuzu,
in the Duesenberg Bible,
in the 23d Saab,
"The Ford is my chauffeur.
I shall not walk. He Lexus me in
the paths of right-turn signals.
Yea, though I walk through the
valet of the shadow of Dart,
I shall Fiero no Eagle.
Subaru Goodwrench and Mercury shall Volvo me
Audi Daytonas of my
life, and I shall dwellmeter house of
Delorean, four-cylinder."

Gloria, in Ex-Celica Geo!
GM.