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Lightbulbs and Vultures

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

54. Eight to argue, 1 to get a continuance, 1 to object, 1 to demur, 2 to research precedents, 1 to dictate a letter, 1 to stipulate, 5 to turn in their time cards, 1 to depose, 1 to write interrogatories, 2 to settle, 1 to order a secretary to change the bulb, and 28 to bill for professional services.

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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: How many can you afford?

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What is the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?
The vulture eventually lets go.

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What is the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?
The vulture doesn't get Frequent Flyer Miles.

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Q: How was copper wire invented?
A: Two lawyers were arguing over a penny.


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