Being in the auto repair business, it's not often that we're able to heap abuse on a vocation that is held in even lower esteem than ours. So, when we get the opportunity...look out!

No, it's not vinyl siding salesmen. Not door-to-door insurance creeps. Not Jehovah's Witness customer service representatives.

It's lawyers.

When we get that rare opportunity to denigrate and generally make fun of the legal profession, we cling to it like...like...well, like a lawyer to an ambulance.

Thus, it is with great pride and tremendous satisfaction that we are able to present what we consider to be a most important discovery: the ultimate list of lawyer jokes on the face of the earth--and you can check it out right here, at cartalk.com. This list comes to us from our pals at NOLO Press, a group that's doing their best to put lawyers out of business. Keep up the good work, guys.

Which is not to say we don't like the occasional lawyer. After all, lawyers have played an instrumental role in our lives--like springing Ma with that temporary insanity plea the first time she went nuts with the Salad Shooter, or stopping the feds from extraditing our cousin Vinny after that incident with the police officer, the Sedan DeVille and the chicken. It's just that there are way too many of them...and to keep busy, half of them are now *creating* problems for the other half to solve. It's a racket! Kind of like auto repair...but at $250 an hour and wearing suits.

Of course, this simple display of some lighthearted, attorney-based humor will undoubtedly spawn some proceedings of its own. Which is exactly why we have Hugh Louis Dewey, Esquire, on 24-hour-a-day retainer. And, with that in mind, we have just one thing to say to those of you in the jurisprudence game who might be contemplating such a move. Take a number, pal, and stand in line.

See you in chambers,

P.S. Here's one of our favorites....

A famous lawyer found himself at heaven's gates confronting St. Peter. He protested that it was all a mistake: he was only 49 and far too young to be dead.

"That's odd," said St. Peter, "according to the hours you've billed you're 119 years old."