A doctor, an engineer and a lawyer were arguing over whose was the oldest profession. The doctor asserted that, of course, a physician removed Adam's rib to create Eve. The engineer disagreed and said, "Of course, an engineer had to have constructed the Garden of Eden."

"I have you both beaten," the lawyer gloated. "Before Adam and Eve, before the Garden of Eden, before all creation, there was a state of chaos, and who but lawyers could have created that?"

* * *

Q: How do you define double jeopardy?
A: When a lawyer calls in her partner.

* * *

Q:What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
A: One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage-eating scavenger. The other is a fish.

* * *

Q: What is the definition of a lawyer?
A: A mouth with a life-support system.

* * *

Q: What do you get if you put 100 lawyers in your basement?
A: A whine cellar.

* * *

Q: Why is an avocado like a lawyer? (both are "avocat" in French)
A: Both have hearts like stones.

* * *

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched during a campaign, they can rarely be recalled. And when they land, they screw up everything forever.

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