As a former Chevy Suburban sufferer (whatta piece of ...), I've been waiting for Ford to come up with a challenger. I'm dead serious about that. I need something to simultaneously haul my Harley and a few cases of ice-cold refreshments. My pit bulls tend to pine, so they have to go too. Ever been in a Yugo with 35 ravening pit bulls and try to eat your bologna sandwich in peace?

You could buy one of these, then get the famous Dartre chromed and use it for a hood ornament.

Tom and Ray,

I'm writing about the Ford Excursion. I think that you are totally unfair in regard to this truck. I'm glad that somebody has come to put a stop to the dominance of the Chevy Suburban in this market; vehicles of this size DO have a place on the highways of the good old U.S. of A.

These trucks and vans are not only wanted, but I say that they are needed by the large families of the United States, and I think you should join me in cheering the introduction of this excellent vehicle.

William Plowman

Your comments about the new Ford Excursion being w-a-y too big might make good sense in New England, but here in the Southwest, things are different. We're on the road for four to five hours at a time--or more--going to the next big city.

The wimpy little Ford Expedition just isn't roomy enough to handle the real world out here. Ford must come up with something larger in order to compete in the "real world."

They don't call the Suburban "the national car of Texas" for nothing.

As a shareholder (in a very small way) in Ford Motor Company, I was embarrassed and dismayed at the announcement of the Excursion. I have sent their "investor relations" department four e-mails over a two-month period expressing my feelings and asking what proportion of FMC's profits are attributable to SUVs.

I intend to contribute that percentage of the appreciation in the stock's value since I bought it (it has roughly doubled) to an environmentally aware organization.

I personally make a vow to use my pocket screwdriver and scratch the paint job of every one that I see. And if enough people join me in this pledge, and this is made known to potential purchasers of this aberration, maybe they'll think twice before buying. But then again, maybe not; if they don't blink an eye about the gasoline bill, probably they won't care about paying for weekly trips to the body shop for touch-ups.

I hate these damned SUVs. I drive a Miata and inevitably, as I am about to pull out of the supermarket lot onto the main road, some little five-foot-tall housewife pulls up alongside, chatting merrily on her cell phone, totally obstructing my view of oncoming traffic and most of the sky as well. The (relatively small) Ford Explorer has a kill/maim advantage of 3:1 vs. occupants of a full-size Chevy sedan, so I don't want to even think about my odds in a Miata pitted against an Explorer, much less the monster Excursion.

Someday we'll look back on these things in the same way that we look back on the 1959 or so Eldorados, the last great American excess. Someday, these things will turn heads going down the street as people stop, stare, whistle softly and say, "Jesus, what a hulk!" before they break out in a serious giggle fit. Such entertainment value bequeathed to generations as yet unborn is something to thank Ford for, not berate them.

Erik Hare
St. Paul, Minnesota

How could you guys mention the Ford Expedition without even a passing reference to the ultimate, if only fictional, Kenworth Pilgrimage? Don't you know that the Pilgrimage is the future of SUV vehicles? Measuring gas mileage in mere miles per gallon is passe when you could measure you fuel consumption in gallons per mile.

For more information on the Kenworth Pilgrimage, check out the official Web site at

http://www.poseur.4x4.org/futuresuv.html

Brian Walker

Here we are, looking forward to what is usually the bright spot in an otherwise dreary and undistinguished week, when suddenly--whammo!--a totally unprovoked attack on my employer!

Yes, we do manufacture the world's most powerful luxury SUV. It's big. It'll hold a complete softball team. Or two WWF tag teams and a referee. Or the entire Car Talk Fan Club. It's commanding. In the driver's seat you are EYE-TO-EYE with truckers who are busy running all the small cars off the road. And it's expensive: Lord-love-a duck, it costs more than the house I grew up in!

You know what else it is, guys? It's SELLING. Hotter than a pistol. Can't keep 'em on the lot. And not just in Texas either. SOMEBODY out there likes us!

Anyway, what's up with using National Public Radio to slang our product? Do we include a brochure in every glove compartment pointing out that you guys are not exactly the Smothers Brothers and that you're out there wasting oxygen and cluttering up the airwaves with drivel, to no good purpose? Of course not! Well…not yet anyway.

Trish Slaughter
Ford

I think you should rant against the people who would consider buying such a behemoth, rather than against Ford for supplying it. Ford is only offering it because people will buy it. That's the American way. You guys should not be letting the consumer off the hook, absolving them of responsibility. So, come on, guys, let's hear a little outrage directed toward the idiots who would want to drive such a ridiculous vehicle!

I must tell you how disappointed I was hearing you two crack [lousy] jokes about the Ford Excursion. Your listeners would get the idea that this thing is bigger than a Winnebago. It's only a few inches longer than the GM Suburban, which has been available for YEARS--and probably hasn't had more than one joke from the two of you comedians.

You've really got to hand it to the automobile-industrial complex--the same folks who in the fifties single-handedly dismantled an incredibly efficient interurban commuter-rail system in Los Angeles and substituted road-clogging, air-polluting buses and grew cars to giant size. This time, they figured out a way to bypass government air-pollution and corporate-average-gas-mileage standards intended to eliminate "gas-guzzling" cars: instead, they sell us trucks.

What happens when gas approaches European prices like the $6 per gallon in Norway? Will these things look a bit silly?

Cars are profitable by the pound, and from a corporate bottom-line viewpoint, the heavier the better. And big vehicles appeal to the bigger-is-better, conquer-the-earth and go-anywhere obsession of the male consumer. It matters not that most of these vehicles are, fortunately, little used this way.

Admittedly, I like little cars, and most of the world, though often by necessity, seems to also. (Of course, most of the world eats beans and rice as I do, so what do I know?)

What ever happened to "think small"?

Yours sincerely,

Jeffrey Fernald

I can only concur with your views on SUVs, but what are we to do about it? Here's a couple of thoughts. When you encounter an SUV driver in a parking lot, in your kindest voice mention how sorry you are that the good people of the world view them as selfish resource-consuming pigs, support them to keep the SUV faith so that one fine day we will all drive these behemoths and the kill-ratio parity will be restored to the American road.

Alternately, when you meet an SUV driver in a gas station, ask them if they remortgaged their house in order to commute for another week, and laugh derisively when they say, "Fill it up." Where possible, lobby for local legislation that requires every SUV owner to buy a tank of gas for a Toyota Tercel owner each time they fill up their SUV. Require the Tercel owner to send patronizing thank-you notes.

When are you going to stop your incessant diatribes about SUVs?! Maybe you haven't bothered to notice, but a few of us actually need them. Or have you built a Dart that will carry hundreds of pounds of material off-road through ankle-deep mud and over 12" mounds of rock (something I do quite often in my job).

As for environmental concerns, I would love to put my Grand Cherokee's emissions against the poor departed Dart's. In short, get off the SUV. If you don't like them, fine. If some yuppie wants to pay tens of thousands for some Expedition that will never see the mud, fine.

Personally, I can't wait for this truck to be released. Although I cannot afford one, I applaud its prospective buyers. Additionally, I don't fully comprehend the stir the media is dishing out for this gargantuan vehicle--it's a truck! Trucks are Big! Where was all this panic when the new Super-Dutys were released? It's the same thing (minus the shell top and seating).

Once again, I applaud its size and its low emissions. Gas guzzler? Indeed, but it still gets more mpg than your typical street-legal hot rod.

Bottom line: people who love trucks love 'em big!