Every now and then, we seem to hit on a topic that inspires folks to go nuts with their wacko theories, bizzare stories and half-baked concepts. Well, we've done it again. The topic?

Birdie poop.

Yup, that avian gift from the heavens that always seems to arrive just after the hot wax has been applied. We got enough e-mails on the topic last week to fill a hard disk the size of Kansas. Thanks to our cyberlackeys, though, we've pared it down to only the finest, most hare-brained, off-the-wall missives. Like the smart-bomb theory, the guanoflage theory and the poop-upon-descent theory.

Enjoy the reading and check out the RealAudio clip below of the call that started it all. Who knows? You might just learn something about avian habits. And you'll certainly gain some valuable insights into the musings of the rest of mankind.

Follow Ups:

• The Metchnikoff "No-Colon" Theory
  
• Awesome Avian Eyesight, and More on Targeting Skills
  
• Of Hawk Attacks and Avian Vomit
  
• The "Designated-Drop-Zone, Flock-Mentality" Theory
  
• "Lighten Up, Will Ya?!"
  
• Rain, Birds, and Car Washing: A Comprehensive Study
  
• Sucked into the Vortex: The "White Hole" Theory!
  
• The War between the Lobstermen and the Gulls
  
• We Hear from a Victim
  
• And, in Closing, a Word from a Bird Owner