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Expediated automobile aging.

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Ford
TOM: In the news this week, our sources tell us that Ford has made a breakthrough in the study of automobile aging. It seems that they've constructed a special test chamber at their research center in Essex, England that can subject a car to a lifetime's worth of wear and tear in just a few weeks. This is true!

RAY: Of course, as usual, Ford is years behind Chevrolet. Chevy has had this sort of facility since the 1970s. That's where they built the Vega!

TOM: Actually, we're glad to see that Ford is showing an interest in how their vehicles age. But we wonder why they're going through such expense to do it.

RAY: In this day of belt tightening in the American automotive industry, we thought we'd suggest a cost conscious alternative to this new facility.

TOM: Why not just ship the cars to Boston and let the cab drivers use them? True, it may take them four or five weeks to get a lifetime's worth of wear and tear, but think of the shipping costs you'll save!
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