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Expediated automobile aging.

TOM: In the news this week, our sources tell us that Ford has made a breakthrough in the study of automobile aging. It seems that they've constructed a special test chamber at their research center in Essex, England that can subject a car to a lifetime's worth of wear and tear in just a few weeks. This is true!

RAY: Of course, as usual, Ford is years behind Chevrolet. Chevy has had this sort of facility since the 1970s. That's where they built the Vega!

TOM Actually, we're glad to see that Ford is showing an interest in how their vehicles age. But we wonder why they're going through such expense to do it.

RAY: In this day of belt tightening in the American automotive industry, we thought we'd suggest a cost conscious alternative to this new facility.

TOM: Why not just ship the cars to Boston and let the cab drivers use them? True, it may take them four or five weeks to get a lifetime's worth of wear and tear, but think of the shipping costs you'll save!
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