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Don't come between a husband and his dream car...

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DEAR TOM AND RAY:
I'D BE INTERESTED IN KNOWING YOUR OPINIONS AND REMARKS ABOUT THE NEW 1991 CHEVROLET CAPRICE. I NEED YOUR REPLY IN A HURRY, BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS REALLY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT. THANKS!
GERTRUDE

RAY: WELL, GERTRUDE, WE'VE BEEN HOLDING ONTO YOUR LETTER FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS, WAITING FOR CHEVROLET TO SEND US A NEW CAPRICE TO TEST DRIVE. WE'RE STILL WAITING. WE'RE ASSUMING THAT EITHER THEY'RE SELLING LIKE WILD FIRE AND CHEVY CAN'T AFFORD TO SPARE ONE, OR THEY'RE STILL MIFFED AT MY BROTHER FOR PRACTICING HIS CRASH DUMMY SKILLS WITH THAT NICE RED LUMINA THEY SENT US LAST FALL.

TOM: ANYWAY, I HAVE A FEELING WE'D BE TOO LATE FOR YOU NO MATTER HOW QUICKLY WE RESPONDED. I CAN ALMOST SEE YOU NOW, WRITING TO US WITH ONE HAND WHILE WRESTLING THE CHECKBOOK AWAY FROM YOUR HUSBAND WITH THE OTHER. HE'S HOT TO BUY ONE OF THESE NEW CAPRICES, ISN'T HE GERTRUDE? HE'S GOT HIS MIND MADE UP, AND WE LEARNED A LONG TIME AGO THAT THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO GET BETWEEN MAN AND HIS DREAM CAR.

RAY: SO LET'S MAKE THE BEST OF THE SITUATION. YOU TEST THE CAPRICE FOR US. AFTER YOU GET IT, WRITE TO US AND TELL US WHAT YOU THINK. AND IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND, TAKE A RIDE IN A GEO STORM, A GEO PRIZM, AND A FOUR-DOOR BLAZER WHILE YOU'RE AT THE DEALERSHIP, WE'RE STILL WAITING FOR CHEVY TO SEND US THOSE TOO.
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