Dear Click & Clack,

I heard your relationships show, and frankly I was just stunned with confusion! This is indeed a most perplexing predicament! I have written, however, to offer my most humble advice.

First, as was mentioned on the show, pull up beside the object of your affection. The question of which car to pull up in arises, though. It was mentioned that women were partial to cars such as a BMW convertible, a power car. Something that would make the woman in the lane next to you believe that you are in complete control of not only yourself but the vehicle you are driving as well. Now, a BMW is all fine and good, but I would suggest a 1979 Buick Riviera. Having a woman see you drive a car that size with relative ease could do nothing but good for you.

Now, after she sees you smoothly pull up to the stoplight, you flash her the suavest smile mankind has ever been able to conjure up. If she smiles back, she is in your complete control. Putty in your hands. Now then, you'll want to get her to roll down her window so you can chat with each other. A good thing to do is to have romantic music with a lot of bass playing in your car. I suggest Barry White. After she rolls down her window and hears the Maestro of Love booming from your car, you've scored a few more points.

Now you'll need a witty line to break the ice. The ever hallowed "Grey Poupon" line will probably be the best. After she says "no" to your request for mustard, ask for her phone number--or be REALLY smooth and ask for her E-mail address (but be ready with something equally witty if she DOES happen to have mustard in her car).

I truly hope my advice helps.

Micah Gutweiler.


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