Dating Handbook: Pickup Lines and Driving Stories
Dear C & C,
I was otherwise engaged, but was able to absorb your most recent show; or should I say our most recent airing of your show. It was February 22 and you were talking about matters of the heart, so our public radio station may have delayed you one week.
I heard your plea for a response to a young woman's smile while in traffic. Let us set the scenario: It is rush hour in one's fair city. You happen to be listening to the traffic report and learn that there has been an accident on the eastbound freeway. A large semi has jackknifed, spilling its contents all over the roadway. They appear to be shirts of some sort with a bizarre painting of the Sistine Chapel; no, wait...there is an adjustable wrench in the picture. Well, at any rate, you are advised to take the Shlabotkin Ave. offramp to avoid the problem and save yourself a two-hour wait. Naturally, you just passed Shlabotkin Ave. about two minutes ago, so you are on your way to the mother of all traffic jams. As fate would have it, while you are waiting in your car you glance to your left. There, seated in a teal 1995 Miata is an attractive woman who sees you leering at her. She smiles. Your response is immediate--roll down the window and begin to speak:
YOU: Hi! Could you please do me a favor? (psychologically an excellent move, as you are now creating a conversation)
SHE: It depends on what it is. (excellent move on her part; now you know she is intelligent)
YOU: Would you please imagine that I have a cute, cuddly retriever puppy with its paws up on the dashboard, looking at you with big puppy eyes?
SHE: OK, I can do that.
YOU: Now we have to continue our conversation based on that assumption. OK?
SHE: Yes. Oh, what a cute dog. What's his name?
YOU: Well, funny thing about that. I just picked her up (you want to show her you are no sexist) and I haven't given her a name yet. (see how she responds to this)
SHE: Oh, she is so cute, you have to give her a cute name.
YOU: I agree, but you know names are so important, I would hate to make a mistake. Would you mind helping me?
SHE: Why, I would be honored, but sitting here in a traffic jam is no place to try to find a name for your new pet.
YOU: I agree. Would you like to meet someplace for dinner?
SHE: Great idea!
From here you are on your own.