Dating Handbook: Pickup Lines and Driving Stories
After hearing your show this morning (2/15/97) I have a story you have to hear about a friend of mine. A couple friends and I were playing pool one night at a local pool hall when a very attractive girl started giving my friend "Vinny" a look. I happened to notice her "inquiries" first and immediately informed "Vinny." We as a group are not used to much attention from those of the opposite sex, so as you can imagine "Vinny" did absolutely nothing. Try as we might, we could not get him to make a move. We left that night very disappointed in "Vinny's" lack of action. However, the following week we met the same girl at the same pool hall. She again began her flirtation with "Vinny" and "Vinny" again was scared stiff.
Eventually, the girl grew tired of "Vinny" and left, at which time another friend and I chased after her. My friend and I are both 17 while "Vinny" is 18, but we were about to find out that "Vinny" had knowledge of stupidity far beyond his years. I was able to spot the car the girls had driven. The flirtatious one was sitting in the passenger seat. We ran back in and got "Vinny" (who drove that night) and got in the car for a hot pursuit. We pulled up next to their car and forced "Vinny" to smile, at which time the female smiled back. We then proceeded to turn left out of a right-turn lane, thinking that they would also be turning left out of their left-turn lane. Boy, was "Vinny" wrong. The girls proceeded to turn right in the opposite direction. Not wanting to lose them, "Vinny" (who was driving a Geo Tracker--and I am not making this up) put the car on two wheels in order to turn around to go in the other direction. He then accelerated to 80 mph to catch the fleeing females.
After pulling up next to them and waving, we came to a red light. The female who showed interest in "Vinny" rolled down her window. "Vinny" did the same. This is where "Vinny" shows signs of absolute stupidity unheard of in previous male pickup lines. "Vinny" says--and I quote--"We're not chasing you; we're just going this way." The female's reply was a confused "OK," at which time the light turned green. Instead of continuing going "this way," "Vinny" turned at the next right. This story should serve as a lesson to all men: Don't wait to pick her up in the car. "Vinny" is forever plastered with the nickname "Just Going This Way."