Cry, the Beloved Dartre
It been said that "all good things must come to an end." And the same is true of '63 Dodge Darts.
For 36 years, no one had been able to kill the Dartre--and that's not for lack of trying, either. How did the famed Dartre meet its maker? At the hands of Tommy's son, Alex "The Car Slayer" Magliozzi -- those same youthful hands that have already wrought havoc upon a 1986 Volvo 240 and a late-model Audi A6.
To be fair to Alex, the kid swears on a stack of Bibles that he was stopped at a traffic light when something plowed into him-literally. A snowplow (from Our Fair City's Department of Public Works) with no brakes slid into the back seat of the Dart--crushing Tommy's beloved Dart between the blades of the plow and the full-size ambulance in front of the Dart. Ouch!
So, the Dart is totaled. Tommy is heartbroken. Ray can hardly hide his glee. Tom's wife sent the plow driver a box of chocolates. And Alex...well, last we heard, Alex is in hiding.
And now Tommy has two dilemmas:
A. What to do with the remains of the Dart?
2. What to do with Alex?
And he needs your help with both quandaries. Should the Dart be carved up into 2,000 paperweights and sold to benefit Save the Skeets, public radio stations or some other worthy foundation? Or, should Tommy elevate the rusting remains upon a pedestal and allow pilgrims to experience the magical healing powers of the Dartre Shrine of Our Lady of Perpetual Rust?
As for Alex, should he receive a nuclear dope slap and be grounded until he needs a walker and adult diapers?
After a respectful period of grieving has elapsed, Tommy will make a decision and report back to all of us, both here and on Car Talk.
Update! See the shocking last moments of the Dart at the Official Dodge Dart Memorial.
P.S. For the burgeoning numbers of Dartre scholars and researchers who would like to know more about the long and illustrious life of Tommy's 1963 Dodge Dart, we humbly suggest the Dart Diary, In the Driveway and the Dart Test-Drive Notes.
Visit the Dartre Shrine and mourn among friends: