Crusty, Original Recipe
TOM: You're listening to Car Talk with us, Click and Clack, the Tappet Brothers, and we're here to discuss cars, car repair, and my brother's new puzzler.
RAY: OK, here it is.
TOM: Does it have to do with donuts?
RAY: No, not really.
TOM: That is the most obscene donut I have ever...
RAY: Only in America.
TOM: Only in America, exactly.
RAY: It's no wonder they call -- I mean I don't mean this in a bad way because this is from Dunkin Donuts, and they make very good donuts.
RAY: But this is why they call us ugly Americans.
RAY: Anyway I'll eat that later. This was sent to us by e-mail from John Zumsteig, and I don't know where he is from because you don't know where anyone is from.
TOM: As it should be.
RAY: Isn't that interesting?
RAY: He says based on a true story.
TOM: Whoa, geez, yeah.
RAY: One crisp fall morning a man brings his Porsche into his mechanic's, saying that he couldn't drive it more than 20 miles an hour. At that speed it developed a horrendous shudder. The mechanic being busy as usual drinking his morning coffee...
TOM: And eating Dunkin Donuts.
RAY: ...tells the driver to drive his car into the shop but he couldn't look at it until later that day. When the driver returned that evening, you can probably guess the next thing...
RAY: The mechanic reported that they couldn't repeat the problem. They couldn't reproduce the problem. They had taken it on a test drive, and the car ran perfectly. Huh, the next morning the driver returns with exactly the same complaint.
RAY: Again the mechanic puts it in the garage and spends his morning drinking coffee and over billing other customers. Again, the driver returns that evening, and he has the same story. We drove it...
TOM: The car was great. It was perfect.
RAY: That thing ran great. What's the matter with you. Handed the bill for a hundred bucks. The third morning the driver returns, same story at 20 miles an hour, the car starts to shake itself apart. This time -- are you ready for this?
RAY: The junior assistant deputy fledgling mechanic, Crusty, young Crusty.
TOM: Crusty junior?
TOM: The son of Crusty?
RAY: No, this was the original Crusty.
TOM: Oh the original Crusty. This is an old story.
RAY: This is an old story, yeah.
RAY: He hears the story, OK, and he asks a question. He says to the guy, did you buy new tires this summer? The guys says yes, I did.
RAY: Crusty says, I know what's wrong with your car.
RAY: Now if you think you know the answer or you just have nothing, nothing whatsoever to do at work, like my brother, what the hell do you do all day?
TOM: What do I do all day? I mean how can a guy spend an entire three hours--eight hours a day...
RAY: He comes home from work. I call his house the other night, and Joanne says he's not home yet. I say it's like 7:00. She says he's at work.
RAY: And I went...I don't know. One of life's little mysteries.
TOM: Isn't it though? It is.
RAY: Yeah, but you have everyone else fooled.
Think you know? Drop Ray a note!
[ Car Talk Puzzler ]