Dear Tom and Ray:

My son told me about you guys and said I should write to you. I'm a 75-year-old lady, and I own a 1986 Nissan 300ZX sports car in great condition. I love this car. I like to drive fast. One of my greatest thrills is to be first away from a light on a double-lane road. I sit there watching the car beside me. Many times, a young man is ready to race. The light turns green and off I go, usually taking the lead (I have only lost about three times). The young ones see this old, white-haired lady driving and can't believe I beat them! I'm not sure why my son wanted me to write to you, but that's my story! -- Catherine

Tom: I think he wanted us to yell at you, Catherine. And I'm happy to oblige: CATHERINE, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD!!!

Ray: Your poor son is probably worried that his mama's gone off the deep end. And I think his worries are well-founded. Racing a car on the streets is a terrible thing to do. And you're setting a terrible example for the already-testosterone-poisoned young men you share the road with.

Tom: You're the Mrs. Robinson of asphalt!

Ray: Here's what you should do, Catherine. Call the Skip Barber Racing School at (800) 221-1131 and sign up for one of their instructional programs. Their courses take place on race tracks, where racing belongs. And they give you stuff like helmets, fireproof suits, Depends and other stuff you should have when you drive like a knucklehead. And if you really love doing that, you can take a few additional courses and drive in their amateur racing series.

Tom: But you really ought to stop doing that on the public streets. If you ever hit a pedestrian, or slammed into another car and hurt somebody, your life would be changed forever. Trust us on this. And I'm sure that's what your son is worried about.

Ray: Either that, or he's just trying to make sure you don't crack up the 300ZX before he gets a chance to inherit it.

Auto repairs can be costly! Save money by ordering Tom and Ray's pamphlet "Ten Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It!" To order, send (check or money order) to Ruin, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. You can also order online.

© 2000 by Tom and Ray Magliozzi and Doug Berman Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

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