Dear Tom and Ray:

I need some help. You see, I have a crush on my mechanic, but I can't seem to bring myself to just ask him on a date or ask if he has a significant other. I keep stopping in with questions about my truck, but I'm running out of those, as well as money to have things fixed. I'm not picking up any vibes from him. Do you have any suggestions? -- No Names Please

Tom: Well, if he hasn't noticed you yet, he's unlike any living mechanic we've ever met, NNP.

Ray: Here's what I would do. I'd get a yellow legal pad, and I'd start to compose a "personal ad." Include your age, a modest description of yourself (young, vivacious, etc.) and some of your interests. Then include a line that says something like "loves guys who can fix things."

Tom: Then conveniently leave this "work in progress" on the passenger seat of your truck, with the pen sitting on top of it.

Ray: Then go in and tell Mr. Hotwrench that you're hearing a strange noise in the passenger compartment. Tell him it's intermittent, and that it occurs every five minutes or so, so he'll have to sit in the truck with the engine running for five minutes until he hears it.

Tom: That should do it. He'll be sitting in your truck bored, with nothing to do. He'll inevitably look around and see the personal ad you're working on. And if he has any interest whatsoever, that should give him all the encouragement he needs.

Ray: And if you really want to seal the deal, add to your personal ad "loves to drink beer, watch sports on TV and have the guys over for poker." And then throw a Victoria's Secret catalog on the dashboard.

Auto repairs can be costly! Save money by ordering Tom and Ray's pamphlet "Ten Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car Without Even Knowing It!" To order, send (check or money order) to Ruin, P.O. Box 536475, Orlando, FL 32853-6475. You can also order online.

© 2000 by Tom and Ray Magliozzi and Doug Berman Distributed by King Features Syndicate, Inc.

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