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The Click and Clack Cockamamie Ergonomics Award:

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RAY: WELL, PISTON PUSS, DO YOU HAVE ANY CONTENDERS FOR THE CLICK AND CLACK COCKAMAMIE ERGONOMICS AWARD?

TOM: YOU BET I DO. THIS WEEK, I NOMINATE OUR GOOD BUDDIES FROM ACROSS THE SEA--RANGE ROVER. I LIKE RANGE ROVERS, BUT THEY HAVE REALLY GONE OUT OF THEIR WAY TO MAKE SOME OF THE CONTROLS DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND.

RAY: YEAH? LIKE WHAT?

TOM: WELL, THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS EXAMPLE IS IN THE HEATING CONTROLS; I MEAN, REALLY. HEATING CONTROLS HAVE BEEN AROUND SINCE THE FLINTSTONES. THEY SHOULD BE SIMPLE; ONE LEVER TO CONTROL HOW MUCH HEAT YOU WANT, AND ANOTHER FOR WHERE YOU WANT IT TO GO--FEET, WINDSHIELD ETC. IN THE RANGE ROVER, I HAD TO RESORT TO READING THE OWNER'S MANUAL TO LEARN HOW TO USE THE HEATER!

RAY: AND KNOWING YOU, YOU STILL COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT! WHAT ELSE?

TOM: WELL, THE ELECTRIC WINDOW CONTROLS CLOSER TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR OPERATE THE REAR WINDOWS AND THE ONES TO THE REAR OPERATE THE FRONT WINDOWS. ISN'T THAT CLEVER?

RAY: THAT'S CUTE. WHAT ELSE?

TOM: THE POWER SEAT CONTROL. RANGE ROVER WAS SMART ENOUGH TO STEAL THE MERCEDES IDEA OF SHAPING THE CONTROL LIKE A SEAT. BUT THEN THEY HID IT UNDER THE ARM REST WHERE YOU CAN'T REACH IT.

RAY: GEE, IT SOUNDS LIKE THIS RANGE ROVER REALLY RUBBED YOU THE WRONG WAY. YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T JUST WAKE UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF BED?

TOM: WELL, TO BE HONEST, THERE WERE MITIGATING CIRCUMSTANCES. I ALSO COULDN'T FIND THE EJECT BUTTON ON THE CASSETTE PLAYER, SO I HAD TO LISTEN TO YOUR WAYNE NEWTON TAPE PLAY DANKE SHOEN OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. BUT I DON'T THINK THAT COULD HAVE INFLUENCED MY OPINION, DO YOU?


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