Keith Clemens sent the following letter(response sent from

Dear Tom and Ray...

You guys have really been showing your age. You often answer questions with mindless babble, laugh at your own jokes, and forget essential details. As a younger listener who, as a tot, was unlucky enough to have heard you in your earlier days, I vaguely remember that there was a time when your ridiculous advice actually made a slight amount of sense. As your advice declines in quality, I look forward to a time when you will step down and pass on the reigns of power to a new younger generation. So far, I have heard no mention of any heirs to the throne of Car Talk Plaza (a holding of dubious value, but I digress...)

I would like to offer my services as heir apparent, since you obviously need a kick in the pants on this issue. I promise to be a loyal subject, and not to commit regicide as have so many heirs since time immemorial. I cannot promise however to refrain from attempting you declared mentally unfit by NPR (please refer to the movie 'The Madness of King George' for source material.)

I would be willing to work cheap, and not to eat too much.


[ As Read on Car Talk ]