Courtesy of Mark Kosakowski

Get off the stove, Grandma, you're too old to ride the range.

I don't know whether to kill myself or go bowling.

One day when you swing that skillet (My face ain't gonna be there).

If you don't leave me, I'll find someone who will.

I still miss you, baby, but my aim's getting better

Please bypass this heart.

Billy broke my heart at Walgreen's and I cried all the way to Sears.

My head hurts, my feet stink, and I don't love you.