Actual Signs
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At a Santa Fe gas station:
"We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."
In a New York restaurant:
"Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."
On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
"Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of thelaw.
-Sisters of Mercy"
On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 years on the same spot."
In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."
In a Florida maternity ward:
"No children allowed."
In a New York drugstore:
"We dispense with accuracy."
In the offices of a loan company:
"Ask about our plans for owning your home."
In a New York medical building:
"Mental Health Prevention Center"
On a New York convalescent home:
"For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."
On a Maine shop:
"Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possibleprices and workmanship.."
At a number of military bases:
"Restricted to unauthorized personnel."
On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards:
"Now available in multi-packs."
In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
"Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirtywork."
In a funeral parlor:
In a clothing store:
In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store:
On a shopping mall marquee:
Outside a country shop:
In the window of an Oregon store:
In a Maine restaurant:
On a radiator repair garage:
In the vestry of a New England church:
In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
On a roller coaster:
On the grounds of a public school:
On a Tennessee highway:
Similarly, in front of a New Hampshire car wash:
