by Tom and Ray Magliozzi

Begin with your hand open and at a 45-degree angle to the floor. Lean backward, and start below the shoulder level of the intended victim. Your starting zone should be dictated by the severity of the infringement necessitating the slap. If the infringement is not too serious, start just below shoulder level. For a serious infraction, begin your dope slap far down, near the waist. We refer to this latter dope slap as a "scupalona." The scupalona is a massive dope slap--the mother of all dope slaps, as it were.

Move your hand as swiftly as possible, while simultaneously yelling, "Ay! Whatta ya, stupid?" The dope slap should not deliver a forceful wallop directly to the head, but rather should be more of a glancing blow. We should point out that the dope slap is not meant to inflict pain. It is used strictly as an attention-getting device. The dope slap itself should be lightning fast. The recipient should be left wondering where it came from.

Congratulations! You have just successfully administered the time-tested Magliozzi Dope Slap. Be sure to practice your dope slap regularly. Convenient targets include siblings, moron friends, and any politician.