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Honey, I Bought a Monorail!

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Ian: You there, honey?
Nora: Hi, busy, but what’s up?
Ian: Okay so I know we’d decided on the Subaru Forester...
Nora: ???
Ian: But I just bought a 1971 Walt Disney World Mark IV Monorail on eBay.
Nora: Like a toy?
Ian: No, the actual Monorail. It seats 36.
Nora: What?

Bid now! Auction ends today! Ian: I know it seems impractical but when you think about it, it uses half the rails of a conventional train!
Nora: Where will we put it?
Ian: On a rail.
Nora: Maybe we can give it to my brother for his model train layout.
Ian: No, I don’t think you understand, it’s a real Monorail. It was 189,000 dollars. But, again, it seats 36.
Nora: This is worse than the Fiat.
Ian: What?
Nora: It won’t go anywhere.
Ian: Well, yes, it might limit the places we can go but I’m sure there’s lots of places along the rail.
Nora: THERE’S NO RAIL!

Sorry, shipping not available for this item. Ian: There has to be a Target along the rail. And we’ll never get lost!
Nora: …
Ian: Because we can’t ever turn.
Nora: I thought you wanted a Miata.
Ian: But what if we have kids? Thirty-four kids?
Nora: I have to get back to work.
Ian: Okay, anyway we need to pick it up by Saturday
Nora: I hate you.
Ian: And we need to move somewhere along the rail so we can get it home.
Nora: There’s no rail, Ian.
Ian: Honey Geico won’t give me a quote for Monorail Insurance.
[Nora has signed off chat.]

Leaked from the desk of our web producer.
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